Published on Mom’s Magazine!
I’m not sure how I feel about it. This is our family’s first official ‘school is out for the summer’ summer. As a WAHM this is the first year since before I had kids in which I felt I have been able to be me! That is I have been able to spend some time doing things that build me up and build me a future.
Those precious 4 hours every week in which both kids are in school have been like sitting on the beach sipping a fruity adult beverage. Hah! I wish. The truth is I have worked harder this year professionally that I have ever worked before – even more than when I worked in management working full time. I have cried, I have struggled. I have worked so freaking hard!
The progress I have made professionally this year has been incredible. I feel so alive, rejuvenated and satisfied.
And now, as of today, it’s coming to a screeching halt as I pick the kids up from their last day of school. I have three months ahead of me where honestly I just don’t know if I will get anything done.
I know, parents who work outside the home are probably rolling their eyes and also freaking out – about who will watch their kids this summer. And there are those other SAHM’s who are so overjoyed that they now have extra time to do arts and crafts projects with their kiddos.
But I’m speaking from that other bunch of parents. The ones caught in the middle – between needing and wanting a career that brings both income and flexibility to be there for the family, and simply wanting to just enjoy every blessed moment with the kids. I need my lifeline (my work), and they need me.
I’m overjoyed that my children are old enough to finally really enjoy the pool time, summer sports and real playdates. And I am absolutely petrified at the anxiety of the thousands of extra “Mommy come play with us.” whining that I will hear. I’m not sure I can do it. I’m not sure I can handle it.