As we dig deeper into what real self-love and self-care means, it is likely you’ve first came upon our Learning to Love Me series because you found yourself struggling with stress, exhaustion, illness. You are likely very aware that your self-care has been lacking and well, it’d be nice to feel better about yourself, your life and the path you are on.
Today I want to help you learn how to recognize the signals that you need to up your self-love & care so you can prevent the not so fun things in life (that burnout, stress, illness and low emotional states).
Believing in Self-Love & Care
First, you need to believe that you are worthy of taking good care of yourself! When we don’t believe in our real worth and value, everything else starts to slip and slide. That slope is dangerous and before you know it… yep you are on the back burner again.
I want you to KNOW that you are a wonderful person and you deserve to treat yourself well!
If you are just joining in on our Learning to Love Me series, you can go here to read more on what self-love and care is.
Schedule in Self-Check Ups
When was the last time you actually paused to evaluate?
This is your first signal from the universe that you are headed for unnecessary struggle. Real self-love means you value yourself enough to take regular inventory on yourself and your health, mentality, emotions, and well, everything else.
By taking stock of how you are really doing you can start seeing where you need to make adjustments to how you’ve been going about life. Think of self-evaluations as gaining insight to the results you are going to get if you keep going in the same direction exactly the way you have been.
I recommend doing a self-reflection weekly, but if you are new to these aim for one every month. It doesn’t have to take long either.
What Does a Self-Check Up Involve?
Reflection time is a wonderful way to learn how to love yourself better! It really showcases the values and priorities that you have been living by. These are not always the values and priorities you claim to have. It can be a real eye opener and allow for amazing changes to begin in your life.
When I do my weekly self-check up, I think about my main life pillars: my physical, mental and emotional health, my energy levels, how balanced and calm and peaceful my life feels, whether I feel like I am behind, on track or ahead of things, how my finances are, how my businesses are, my levels of stress, anxiety or worry, and the like.
Basically, I am taking a minute to look at each of my roles (Self, Wife, Mom, Household Manager, Business owner etc.) and seeing how well I am functioning in each of them, how I am feeling about them and what I am thinking about them.
I’m taking time to reflect on the energy I sent out during the week (was it good high energy or low negative energy) and the energy I let into my space. (This is a boundaries check-up.)
What I Leave Out of Self-Check Ups
I always remind readers and clients that self-reflection time is not for beating yourself up for not being where you want to be or not being able to give 110% all the time. When you put yourself into the ring to start punching yourself, this does nothing to benefit you.
Recognizing that this is how you react to yourself (and your self-worth and levels of love and care) is a great place to start understanding you deserve much better love from and towards yourself.
I really want to emphasize that to love yourself better – you have to learn to observe yourself and how you go about life from a place of LOVE.
It’s simply a time to observe and take note of what is working well, what needs a new approach and checking how you’ve been living with your real values and priorities.
It allows you to slowly begin making positive changes within and in your approach to living that will allow you to live more authentically and begin creating a life that truly supports you and your well-being.
Plus, regular moments for reflection does allow you to change course and prevent many challenges from ever occurring.
Example: If you are normally pretty healthy but have experience more illness than usual during a season, than during each reflection time you pay closer attention to anything draining your health and energy and focus on coming up with ways to improve your health.
Signs You Need Better Self-Care
Below is a short list of real signals that you need to do a self-check up and makes some changes that allow for better self-love and care.
- Abnormal fatigue or physical tension
- Poor Sleep
- Feeling stressed, overwhelmed, too much to do
- Inability to focus
- Low energy emotions (sadness, anxiety, worry, fear, anger, resentment)
- Making little slip ups (forgetting things, losing stuff, spills due to rushing)
- Rushing 24/7
- Catering to everyone else
And that’s just a short list!
I know, you are thinking but everyone I know always is at least one of those things on that list.
Most women do not partake in real self-love and self-care!
Lack of self-love and self-care can be found as an underlying cause to most of the struggles women have today.
The truth is, you don’t have to experience any of those things every day!
Real Self-Love & Self-Care
It begins with believing in your worth and value, then it moves into learning to live decisively. When we live decisively, we align ourselves up with our real values and beliefs which allows us to begin living authentically.
As we begin living more authentically we let go of faulty limitations and expectations (everything that creates what’s on that short list) and we begin to experience greater freedom, inner peace and joy.
I want you to go read this one on Creating Healthy Boundaries. It is a wonderful resource for building a healthier relationship with yourself and then with loved ones.
Sign up for our Learning to Love Me program (it’s free) and start indulging in greater self-love and self-care today!
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