Decisive. Empowered. Resilient.

How to Choose the Challenges You Face in Life

How to Choose the Challenges You Face in Life


Yesterday we celebrated our 11th anniversary together – a day early. We had a great date day, visited a winery, went to an alehouse, saw a movie and grabbed a late night bite to eat.

Then arrived today, one of those Mondays – the kind you are pretty sure you should have just stayed in bed. These Mondays are rare for me. I look forward to Mondays because it means everyone is out of the house and I can work in peace.

Today is my anniversary and I’d like to be on a sunny beach and not adult for a few days. Running two businesses and being a wife and mom is hard -too hard some days. Not adulting sounds kind of nice.

After picking my kids up from their stay at grandma’s my son threw up unannounced all over the back of the suv. And then again about 15 miles down the road narrowly missing his sister. I wanted to cry. Over having to be the one to clean it all up, for my son not feeling well, for the fact that my dear husband gets to go work (and just focus on work for 9 hours) and I was supposed to get stuff done today with kids underfoot. (Why the hell do we have so many in-service days? I think we had like two for the whole school year when I was growing up!)

I went from relaxed, feeling all love dovey and ready to focus in my businesses and believing what I do makes a difference to an abrupt halt of reality – as a mom and wife I don’t get 9-hour work days – ever. At least not doing my business work. Instead it is 24/7 work that is one circle of activity after another that not only drains but sure as heck is not fulfilling. Cleaning up vomit does not line up with my life goals and ambitions.

After settling everyone in and yelling at the 3rd group of kids riding bikes through my back yard (we have dogs) to get to the creek behind our house, I gave myself a break and tuned out life with social media for a few minutes.

Wouldn’t you know it – a friend who is such an inspiration shared the very topic of today’s post – Choose Your Hard.

I hate it when life mocks you. When you are the success writer and inspirer for so many and you are always ‘on’ and for crying out loud can’t we just be human for a day and not have to regroup and adult when everything hits the fan? Really?

Funny how life likes to remind us of the bigger things and what is really important.

I’ve spent the last 2 weeks focusing on surrendering, letting go and allowing myself to just be (and not have to get x number of things done in my work every day) and apparently this is still something for me to embrace.

So here I am, it’s raw, gritty and the beach is still calling my name.

I often feel like life is too big of a struggle, like everything is so hard. When I pause though, I know it is because I CHOOSE MY HARD. I am very decisive. I choose to make progress daily. I choose to keep the bar set high (because I’m totally capable most days). I choose to not settle for a life less than what I believe I deserve.

In this I select big challenges – which makes them hard. I select to adult and adult at a higher level than most – which makes it harder. I choose to work odd hours, long hours and around everyone else’s schedule because I want to be here when they need me (like today).  This makes making progress really difficult sometimes.

Holy * my life is hard. It always has been. (Insert extreme childhood poverty and a long list of challenges I’ve overcome.) The difference between me now and who I was 10 years ago – I CHOOSE MY HARD in life. When I was growing up I was stuck, I didn’t have a choice, the hard just kept barreling in at 90 mph. As I became adult I quickly found myself owning my life (and not playing victim) and the tides began to shift. Today – I own it completely – so when life is hard it is because I’ve made bigger decisions and thus I choose it.

So even when I feel like life is too hard, or like I’m not strong enough, I know that in fact what I am able to handle with ease is what many consider impossible to conquer – let alone handle with ease.

It is okay for me to cave and stress and wonder so long as I am choosing how my life goes. The challenges, the hurdles are all part of the process and experience of growing, creating and expanding myself and the life I am living.

We have choices in life. We can choose to be decisive (internal locus of control) or we can choose to make excuses, blame, quit and sugar coat (external locus of control). When we live decisively we are choosing our hard in life. When we are not decisive – we give over every ounce of power we have to others and events and the hard is worse because we didn’t choose it.

I choose my hard in life. I live decisively. I am empowered and I am fairly resilient in life.

It isn’t about finding magic fairy dust and sprinkling it around us in hopes that we will never experience difficulties in life ever again. We are all human and each of us will go through various challenges (it’s how we grow).

I want you to understand this, that you CAN choose your hard in life. You can live decisively, empowered and resilient. When you choose your hard – it is easier to get through, easier to rise above and easier to make wise decisions in the midst of it.

Start choosing your hard – your future self will thank you!

*I’m super thankful for this reminder today – a day that has been less than ideal. I am blessed.


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