What will I do to create a better me and a better life this year?
When I speak at conferences and work with clients often the first things that they begin to tell me about are along these lines:
“Well, so & so keep doing this…”
“It’s just not possible. I can’t because (insert person, group, employer) …”
“So & So won’t let me do such and such.”
And after letting them go on for about a minute I gently guide them to pause and I ask them, “What exactly are you doing to create a better life for yourself?” And instantly they go right back to the disempowered excuses and blame gaming.
I want you to catch this – the one thing many do not – YOU ARE IN CONTROL of how your life goes!
When you get decisive that is. Yes! You CAN be in control of your life.
Which one are you?
You can live one of two ways: Empowered or Disempowered.
Disempowered goes hand in hand with an external locus of control approach to life – everyone and everything else is at fault and responsible for how your life is going.
Empowered involves building an internal locus of control where YOU are one who makes all the decisions about how your life goes. As you build your decisiveness and become more empowered – you also build resiliency (the ability to surf through life as it happens).
I could care less what the Johnny or Susie’s in your life are doing. I want to know:
What are YOU doing to create a better life for yourself?
That is what matters. What all the Susie Johnny’s in the world are doing matters not at all unless you choose to give your power over to them.
It’s time to STOP giving away your power to other people and external circumstances!
Life as you experience it is a direct result of how you approach life. If you want things to change (the external conditions) you must change within first (your approach to life, beliefs, way you make decisions and take action etc.).
Let’s say that one more time.
For your life to change on the outside, you must first begin to change on the inside.
If there is any question that you answer about your life in the next year, let it be:
What are YOU going to DO in this coming year to create a better life for yourself?
What aspects of who you are will you work on improving, so that your results will also begin to improve?
#1 Reason You Don’t Reach Your Goals
It’s not the excuse of not having enough time. That’s #2.
Too many people set all these goals without ever realizing the #1 reason why they quit their goals and fall short of reaching them.
The #1 Reason people fail at goals is because they think the work is all done on the exterior.
Do the work on the inside first and before you know it you will be achieving your goals consistently and with increasing ease.
So, what are you going to do to improve your life this year?
Start by Doing This
Find a piece of paper and fold in half twice so that you have 4 squares.
In the top left square write Mindset.
In the top right square write Body.
In the lower left square write Home Life.
In the lower right square write Career/Big Dreams.
In the Mindset square write down two things you want to improve upon when it comes to the way you think, make decisions, how you approach life etc.
This could be Sticking To Your “No’s” better, or reading one new nonfiction book a month to build your wisdom, or even journaling how you want your days/week to be going. Other ideas could be to learn about a different religion or culture, to question one of your strongest beliefs that you live by, or to simply start letting things go. Also in this category are: building self-esteem, confidence, courage, honor, respect and self-discipline.
In the Body square, write two ways in which you will work on improving your physical health. Don’t go crazy and say “I will work out 5x a week or lose 50lbs.” Try something small that is daily, which will slowly add up over time with wonderful changes. An example might be: I will take one nap each Sunday afternoon to recharge, or I will use half the amount of salt I normally do when preparing my food.
It is imperative that you DO something to improve your health, as our health and body are the our source of energy. We need to learn to take good care of ourselves so that we always have a steady stream of strength and energy to do what we want and need to in life.
Under Home Life (includes your relationships), jot down a few ideas of things you’d like to do differently or see happen. This might involve cleaning out your closets every 3 months, or spending an afternoon once a month with a different friend. It could include getting more organized in one room of your house or even in how you run your daily schedule.
Improving a home life aspect includes your daily living environment, processes and the people in your life. You might choose to strengthen your personal boundaries with others or make your home more inviting.
Career & Big Dreams
For Career and Big Dreams category I want you to really aim big here. I put these two topics together because often they line right up with each other. If they are not the exact same thing, then your career will often financially fund your big dreams.
Write down one big dream (you know something off that bucket list) you would like to either do or make significant progress on. Then write down one realistic goal for you to achieve with your career – it may be doing something new like giving a work presentation, or switching job positons or even doing a career makeover.
A Note on Goals
Remember, the bigger the goal you set, the longer it will take you to achieve it. So, if you have train for a marathon as one of your goals, break it down into something that builds into being able to do a marathon successfully. Aim for training and doing a 5k, then a 10k, then a half marathon and then begin your final leg to the actual marathon training.
We want the goals we set to be centered on things that must change or which stem from a real inner desire for achieving them. This keeps you connected to your internal drive of motivation and focus.
Another Reason People Fail at Goals
How many times have you done something because someone else suckered you or badgered you into doing it because they wanted to do it?
This is a big reason why people never reach their goals. First, they take on a goal that wasn’t their goal to begin with. Second, in accompanying other people with their goals, we end up devoting our resources (time, energy, money) into other people’s goals instead of keeping our resources going into our true goals.
After you’ve entered some thoughts down on that piece of paper with things you’d like to see improve for your life, return to your list and check to make sure the changes you wrote down are things YOU want to see improving and that you didn’t write stuff down that others are demanding of you.
Let It Be
Speaking of demanding, one of the things to work on that will create a huge impact and change for you, is to let people and things be. This means not letting other’s demands on you suck you dry of your time and energy and it also means that you stop placing demands on others.
Let everything and everyone be to live their lives as they see best and put up walls to anyone who believes they know what is best for you.
You have this one life to live, so live it, as you see fit for you to live and evolve.
Creating positive long-term changes in your life requires a lot of focus and effort – get decisive in where you place that focus and effort.
You are here reading this because you are wanting to creating positive changes in your life. You are wanting to learn how to become more decisive, empowered and resilient.
Any change you want to occur in the exterior of your life, begins with making correlating changes within first.
If you liked this article I have several more like it, plus I have several FREE mini-courses to help you line your goals up with your life purpose, on creating and achieving the goals you set consistently and more!
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