I am so glad you are reading this today. Everything you want in life requires you to get out of your comfort zones and go to it. This usually brings out our fears and thus holds us back. I’m going to walk you through some common fears we feel when life is asking us to become more.
What is Fear?
When I think about fear I’m real. I know we all feel it at times. I know that no person is ever immune from it. That never seems to help though right? I mean, who cares if they feel fear – they’ve got …
And that right there is where I pinpointed what fear is. It is us making excuses to simply avoid what we need or want to be doing.
That is what it is.
Fear is when we live smaller than we know we are and can be.
It rides in with its pals worry, doubt and low self-esteem.
I know that when I can observe myself as I go about my week or day, that I can forsee now, whether or not this vehicle of less than ideal lower versions of myself will come barreling down the street, park in my driveway and knocking on the front door.
Preventing Fear from Rising
Self-love and self-care is the shield that barriers against our lower self from taking a stronghold in our life.
When we dare to raise our chin – this makes fear quiver.
When we emphasize healthy boundaries, and building our self-love, we set up an electric fence around our bubble that protects us from every low energy that tries to invade and take over.
Self-love is key.
This conquers Fear…
Each time we step forward and take action fear begins to dissolve entirely.
We don’t have to have the answers to rise above fear (or doubt, worry and the like). If the winds of life are swirling about all we have to do is stand firmly rooted in our self-worth, beliefs and purpose.
On an average day, we CAN muster up enough courage to take one step forward that is strong, secure and willing to expand beyond our present comfort levels.
That is all that creating change and achieving goals requires – that we get ourselves rooted (centered on good beliefs, ideas and actions) and taking action that is focused.
I find that a lot of women get stuck in the “It Won’t Work” muck. That is what it is – muck and if you aren’t careful it will suck you in like quicksand. That is why I teach the frame set “What if it WILL Work!” with an !, not a ?.
You’ve got to believe you are worthy of giving it a go. You have to believe you are going to be okay doing something new and different. You have to develop this idea that if you don’t at least try (pay attention so you can learn something in the process), then things will never change.
A Different Approach
I’m married to one of those crazy Type A adventuristic thrill seeking guys. His life motto is how high, how far and how fast can I go? He thinks flying down a mountain on a bike on a twisty windy road without guard rails is the best idea ever.
It didn’t take me long to realize how he and those of this mindset and approach to life look at fear differently. They use that This Will Work mentality to do things most of can’t watch. They don’t have fear because they love what they are doing, ever bit of it is a fun adventure! Even when they crash.
When they crash, they learn and get back up and go try again.
Fear is something you make up, it is you living small and shrinking back because to you that is easier than gathering up the courage and belief that you know – it could be fun and it just might work.
Top 3 Fears
What you really are afraid of is growth. Growth is out there, in the unknown and you don’t know what is waiting for you.
Fear of growing comes from low confidence and belief that you are worthy of more in life. You are worthy of more, trust me.
We get afraid that if we say or act a certain way we won’t be liked, loved and then they’ll leave.
Fear of people leaving you or not supporting you comes from unhealthy relationship boundaries and being co-dependent on others. You are worthy of having people in your life who support you and enjoy watching you rise and achieve greater in life. Sometimes we have to let go of what we currently have in order to find that kind of love and support.
We get afraid that if we go for it, someone will laugh or tear us right back down. Worse, we might royally flop and find ourselves further back than where we started.
Fear of failing, this is the best one. What do you think it is when you remain the same for decades? It’s not success. The only time you really fail is by not being willing to grow. Fighting growth – now that’s kind of absurd when we are walking through it all but how many people do we know who will give every ounce of who they are to put up resistance to growing. Meanwhile, taking that one or two small steps of action takes little courage, effort and time.
Rising Above Fear
All changes in our life will require two things of us: Growth and a willingness to step forward from where we are today.
We have to get out of our comfort zones.
The first time it feels so scary and daunting. Once you step up and out you realize it isn’t a big deal.
The second time you still feel a little nervous, hey you are new at thing courage and believing thing.
Growth like everything else requires a little practice.
Stepping out of our comfort zones also takes practice.
Pretty soon, you realize your comfort lies in you being willing to have that courage and in you taking action. You’ll never want to sit still for long again. You’ll never want to live small ever again.
Use these steps to Rise Above Fear:
Recognize the signs (shrinking back and making excuses), pause and think it through. What are you really feeling (fearing) and why? What are the roots of it? Don’t feel bad for realizing you are afraid – just acknowledge its presence.
Shrink your fear.
Think about all the things in your life you have been through, survived and overcome. Put this fear in its place and get a better perspective. Stop making it bigger than it needs to be.
Erase all of your excuses, claim ownership over it and the day and decide to live bigger and braver. Think about all the ways it can work for you and how moving forward will positively change your life.
Pause and Prepare
Take time (regardless of the scenario) to create quiet so you can think clearly. Get rest – avoid making big decisions when you are sleep deprived. Write it all out on paper. Every outcome you can think of. Every idea or solution that might make this better or easier to get through.
Think about the different decisions and courses of action you could take. What would happen if you did nothing? What would happen if you did A, B or plan C?
Which one has the best outcome? GO for that one. Don’t settle for less you are worthy of and you are worthy of a wonderful outcome!
Act through Fear
Act anyways. What is the worst that could happen? Even the answer you come up aren’t really valid for not trying. Not even death. We all have one life to life, and we can live it small and timid and do nothing and never fulfill our purpose. Or we can own ourselves to the best of our ability, prepare, make the best decision we can in the moment and take action with courage and confidence.
Expect good Results
Expect things to work out okay. If you can’t envision a spectacular outcome, then accept a mediocre one will be just fine and expect things to work for you.
Let it GO
Sometimes (well too often to say the least) we create our own chaos. Yes, we do. With all the huffing, puffing, excuse making, hiding, procrastinating etc here is the truth.
If we just make a decision, act on it and cut the crap life goes a lot easier.
Let it go. Just let go of your fear. Literally. Repeat this out loud:
“I am afraid of/to…… because……. And (the result you fear happening). This is ridiculous. I am a good person. I make good decisions most of the time. I’ve been through (life challenges) and came out fine, better and stronger even. This is what I really want (your desired outcome) and I think taking this step of action is a good step in that direction. I’m just going to do it. If people don’t like it, I don’t care. This is my life and I need to live it for me. I believe this will be a good thing for me do. Let’s just do it.”
Let go of everything small that has been holding you back.
Real Healing & Confidence
I want to invite you to participate in our Learning to Love Me series, where you’ll develop real love, healing, wonderful relationships and find the confidence and courage to raise your standards and expectations for your life. I want you to live ALIVE! Fiercely Alive.
Will you take that step with me? Will you believe that you can learn how to love yourself more?
Your life is waiting for you to rise up and claim it. Your goals, hopes and dreams – they are waiting outside of your comfort zones. Let me help you claim it. You are worthy!
Sign up for Learning to Love Me below (its free).
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