Decisive. Empowered. Resilient.

Handling Those Query Rejections

Handling Those Query Rejections



Got two rejections back last month that highly entertained me. One guy is retired – why on earth is he in the Writer’s Market Guide? The other, who likes extreme sports, gave me feedback, but said that self-help industry is so hard to get into even for those who speak in front of tens of thousands.

For a moment I took the blow, then I thought, you agent lady are just lazy. While I am sure they receive oodles of horribly written books sent to them daily which somehow still get published, I do not want to work with a lazy agent. I don’t want mediocre. I write about success and being the best and what that takes, I do not want to be just like everyone else. So thank you ma’am for rejecting me, saving me time and hoping that you might be the one for me. You’re not.

I am turning it into fuel to feed my fire. I believe in what I write. I am definitely not like the others out there, and I don’t want to speak in front of thousands of people. I don’t want to speak to people,

I want to engage people through my writing. I want to set peoples minds on fire!

I am not about seeing how many tens of thousands of people can cram into an auditorium paying money for a weekend event, when they can buy the book, read it, and make it a personal experience at home and much cheaper. Whereas, in a big auditorium filled with thousands of strangers, people are more concerned about how they look and when they can go get more coffee than what the person is actually speaking about.

Those writers turned speakers end up becoming more about performing than what their actual message was about. That is – they lost focus on their purpose.

I am not ordinary. My story is not like others. Who I am is not like others. I am not mediocre. I do not think like everyone else and because I don’t think and act like everyone I am not like everyone, and that is why I understand what it takes to be successful and remain successful. This is why the people in my life are people who are making something of themselves and moving onwards and upwards and achieving their goals, they are not ordinary people. The people we train with, know what it takes to push their minds and bodies for ten hours as hard as they can. That is not ordinary!


So for every agent who gives me a rejection and spits out the same old ‘you must build your platform to be like everyone else’…if you want to be like everyone else, then you be like everyone else, and you represent everyone else. I am different. I work as diligently and as intelligently as I can TO BE DIFFERENT.


And to truly change yourself inside and change the external factors in your life, you must do things that are different than what the multitudes of people are doing that keep them in the multitudes.

I will find the right agent for me and my work. This agent, I have realized, will be a lot like me. Decisive, self-empowered, resilient, and not like the multitudes. This agent won’t want me and my work to be just like everyone else. The right agent for me will know and understand what I talk and write about, because they also incorporate those values and principles in their life and will genuinely laugh as I tell them about the response that so many agents give to writers (build your platform, its highly competitive).

Of course it’s competitive. Would you rather take on a self-help writer who is not an athlete, never worked out a day in their life, and has absolutely no ability to walk what they preach? Who has never really had to overcome anything remotely challenging in their life and at a young age? Or do you want a writer who lives every single aspect of what they write about. And that’s why they write what they do, because they know it’s true, and what they write works.

The difference between those writers that are the multitudes and myself, when they get these rejections from agents, they give up and quit. I don’t. I know what it takes to succeed and I will. And I will not settle for working with an agent who wants me to be just like everyone else.


Are you a writer? Need a mental boost. Read Being a Spitfire – relight that fire.

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