Decisive. Empowered. Resilient.

How To Deal When Life Happens

How To Deal When Life Happens

Life happens.

How it happens greatly depends on how we decide to make life happen and also how we decide to respond to those unexpected situations. The truth is, if we were completely accountable and responsible in everything we do, these unexpected situations would rarely happen. However, this would mean we’d be perfect, and be able to plan, prepare and perform at 110% every second of every day. And we are not perfect no matter how much we’d like to be.

So what can we do to respond well when the S*t hits the fan?

First, take a deep breath. If you need to step outside for a few minutes, or close your eyes or listen to some music, do so. The first step in doing anything is do it from a calm and quiet mind. Only when the mind is calm and quiet can we make good decisions.

Second, remove yourself from the situation. Take a step back, look at the bigger picture and realize this is just one small, brief moment in time. There are others dealing with much more difficult and harsh problems. You can handle this.

Third, remove your emotions from the moment. You can emotionally deal with the circumstances at another time, after you’ve made good decisions and made good effort to resolve the moment wisely. Your emotions will only derail you and cause you to not think as clearly as possible. So set them aside before doing anything else.

Fourth, put yourself in the Master’s shoes. That is, if you saw this situation in someone else’s life, what advice, wisdom, experience, encouragement would you give them? If this were your best friend, your child/parent, someone you know who normally handles things well, how would you show them a good way to deal with the issues at hand? If you could dial a 1-800 Master Guru with a magic wand, what would the person on the other end tell you is the best way to handle this?

Fifth, Act. Make a decision to the best of your ability right here and now. Action will do one of two things. First, taking action prevents doubt, fear and worry from creeping in. Second, it will either not fix the situation, which gives you knowledge and experience to go about making a different decision/action and bring you closer to fixing it, or it will fix things and the problem will be resolved.

So to quickly summarize your “How to Deal With Life” fall back plan,

  1. Take a big breath, try to relax so you can think as clearly as possible.
  2. Remove yourself from the moment, this issue is a tiny blip in your lifeline.
  3. Put your emotions about it and those involved in a box and open on a different day. Decision Making + Emotions = Bad Decisions
  4. Gather your intellect and wisdom. You’ve got this, the issue can only be as big as you allow it to be.
  5. Make a decision and take action.

Some other things to consider when life flings stink at you:

  1. Your attitude. Your thoughts will determine the results. Think clearly, think positively and be about solutions.
  2. Forget about others. When you are in crisis mode, you (and immediate family) ARE your #1 priority, and you need to decide and act in your best interest.
  3. Remember, you are responsible for you. Not for other’s decisions, actions, and results – or the lack there of.
  4. Time is always moving forward, life is always about change. Keep going forward and go with the flow. Stay focused on the solution and being flexible.

We always have a choice. We are always in control of our thoughts, decisions and actions. We determine our own outcome.With that being said, if it’s a rough day have an extra coffee with a big handful of M & Ms and give yourself a break.

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Comments (10)

  1. Reply Kristen

    Great advice! I love all of your steps and am learning to react better in the moment to help teach our girls to react more positively instead of tears. Have you ever written a post like this for kids? Just curious…love your site!

    1. Reply Nicolette Brink

      I will probably include it my next book – a success book geared just for youth!

  2. Reply Yanique

    Having a plan of how to handle problematic situations puts you ahead of the game and you offer a solid plan in this post. So important to stop and think before acting. Saves us from doing and saying things we will later regret. Great post!

  3. Reply Emily Cole

    This was such great advice! Thanks so much for sharing this post! 🙂

    XO,
    Emily
    http://Www.idodeclareblog.com

  4. Reply Laura @ Little Bits of Granola

    This is wonderful advice. Number 4 takes the cake. I know I probably do numbers 1 & 2, but seeing it built into a process like this makes perfect sense. Thanks for sharing!

  5. Reply Jacquelyn Ward

    BEST LINE OF THIS POST:”If you could dial a 1-800 Master Guru with a magic wand, what would the person on the other end tell you is the best way to handle this?” I think that really helps put things in perspective. You illustrate problem solving beautifully and I appreciate the recap/ small summary bullet-points for the attention-span challenged like myself 🙂 These are great words of advice and you are absolutely right. PS Can you create a 1-800 Master Guru number? That would be wildly successful yet likely a very tedious business to be in. Glad that I stopped by. I made sure to like your FB Page and I will be voting for you on TMB next. I am also on TMB in the frugal category and also a fellow IBN blogger. So nice to meet you and read your insightful post!
    Jackie of http://diydesignmom.com

    1. Reply Nicolette Brink

      Thanks! I will give you a little TMB love too!

  6. Reply The Imp

    Excellent advice!

  7. Reply Diane Mann

    Great advice. I like how you broke it down into five steps. Easily remembered.

  8. Reply Miranda Holman

    Great advice! I love #3, Put your emotions about it and those involved in a box and open on a different day. Decision Making + Emotions = Bad Decisions. Having a plan is awesome to help get thru a difficult day.

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