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6 Steps to Joy


6 Steps to Joy


Today we are talking about Joy! What it means to really feel joy and I’m sharing a few quick steps for stepping into Joy at any time. Come along as we continue our Learning to Love Me series.


#1 Acceptance

I believe the first step to feeling joy is simply accepting the fact that two seconds ago, you were not feeling it. Once we can just accept what is as it is, it is like pressing a lever that instantly releases tension and resistance to what we really want: inner peace and joy.

It is okay to realize you’re feeling less than stellar, mentally, emotionally and physically. All this means is for whatever reason, perhaps just being busy or distracted, we’ve let our inner peace out the side gate.

I want you to think of your joy as being like oxygen that you breathe in and out and is literally a natural part of who you are. If you can accept this, you will be quickly on your way to regaining that peace and state of joy.

So, if we catch ourselves not feeling it, simply pause.

Affirm that joy is your natural state (it is – no matter how long it’s been since you’ve truly felt it).

Visualize joy being inhaled like oxygen and exhaling it. Realize it is easy, natural and really doesn’t need any conscious focus other than acknowledging joy is natural and is accessible at any time.

Accept your state as it is and then allow yourself to line back up with your natural state of joy.


#2 Gratitude

Often our joy gets through the hole in the back fence because we’ve mentally been focused on lack, on everything that is missing from our lives or not going as we want it to.

Doing a daily or weekly gratitude session is a great way to pause, reflect and realign with our true self – someone who is in her natural state at peace and feeling joy.

This practice of focusing on gratitude and our blessings and the good in our life also re-trains our mindset to focus on the good!

I’ve got a great article here on: Gratitude & Blessings.

Another way to feel joy often is through greater self-love and care. There will be an opportunity to sign up for our self-love and care series later on.


#3 Living in the Present

Our joy also likes to escape every time we stop living in the present moment, here and today. If you are like me with young kids, when it’s sunny out, the kids are dashing in and out of the house so fast and I can’t tell you how many time the dogs and kittens get close to sneaking out.

The state in which we live (past, present or future) is a decision that we make daily, 24/7.

When we are living in our yesterdays this is yanking the joy we could be feeling right now and sending it off to the house down the street where you have no idea what mischief your kids are getting into, you just know they will find some.

 Every time we are living way in the future, it’s like not even having doors on your house! You are just encouraging your joy to take an unleashed stroll through the neighborhood. Eventually, you realize it’s ran off and then you have to go find out where it went.

Living in the here and now is challenging! It takes real practice to let go of yesterday and trust that our tomorrow’s will be just fine.

Here and now, today – this is WHERE your Joy is!

Tip – Paint one fingernail different or name one bracelet as a ‘reminder’ and every time you find yourself looking at it during the day, take 10 seconds to pause and focus on what state you are in (past, present, future) and then reclaim your joy.


#4 Build Internal Locus

Another reason we tend to not feel inner joy as often as we can, is because we tend to live with an external locus of control. An external locus of control is the belief that you have little to no power in your life and that everything is the way it is because of someone else or something else. With this life approach, we are at the whim of everything else in life – including the emotions we feel.

Every time we fall into the trap of making excuses, blame gaming, complaining and the like – we are giving our real power away!

Joy perches on an internal locus of control – the belief that we are in control of ourselves and our life.

Our emotional peace rests within us, and is not bothered by anything or anyone outside of us.

With this approach to living, our joy is protected and never subject to needing anyone else’s permission to feel it.

If you want to experience greater joy and more often – own your life and own your personal power!


#5 Rise into Highest Self

Everyone is capable of doing better and being a better person than who they currently are and exhibit. We each have a higher self, a self that is centered on the three basic principles of most religions: Love, Peace & Joy.  

Every time we ask for shortcuts or ask for the rules to be changed and seek out accommodation to make life easier or to make us feel more special, we are not stepping into our highest self. We can’t feel joy when we shortchange the core of who we are!

As we go about our day, if we catch ourselves feeling and giving out low energy, this is a great time to pause and re-center back into your higher self. Our natural self IS good, healthy, high energy and if we aren’t feeling that it’s because we’ve allowed ourselves to stoop lower and we are better than that!

Your natural, higher, innate self is a soul that emits love, peace and joy!

Encourage yourself to do a little better, to rise a little higher and to expect more out of yourself, for you are capable and if you do this regularly you will find it also comes naturally.

#6 Allow Yourself to Feel Joy Viscerally

If you’ve been following our Learning to Love Me series, you will find that many of these topics are discussed more in depth throughout the series. One of the biggest hiccups in experiencing joy for prolonged periods of time is due to self-judgement and guilt. It’s time for self-forgiveness and letting go of self-imposed limitations. You deserve peace and you deserve to be your biggest cheerleader.

You are a good person.

It is okay for you to feel joy.

It is okay for you to feel joy regardless of what is going on around you.

It is okay for you to feel joy even if others around you do not.

You don’t need anyone else’s permission to feel joy and peace within!

Say this out loud:     

“It is Okay for me to feel joy!

Say that as many times as it takes for you to really start feeling joy physically.

Joy is not just an emotion that describes our present state of mind. Joy is a decision, a decisive state that we can select to experience whenever and wherever we want to.

Joy, when we really feel it is every bit present at the physical level, the mental level, the emotional level, the spiritual level and when we are allowing ourselves to feel it – we align ourselves up with our authentic self.

Reverse this line up – Joy is our natural state and it emits out coming from our soul, through our spirit. It is a state of being and living. It enters our minds via emotion (“Oh this feels nice and good and pleasant.”) and then we physically feel it like a warm tingly sensation and healthy energy. Then this amazing energy called Joy radiates outwards into the room we are in and the people around us breathe it in and they can feel it. Then it enters their system and they like it and they are drawn to you and then you both engage in interaction and elevate the joy even higher.

This is why we are attracted to high energy, charismatic people – They ALLOW themselves to FEEL JOY as much as they can. We all want more Joy because it is our natural state.

It’s time to let your light shine and allow yourself to feel JOY because it feels wonderful when we do.

The 6 Steps to Joy

That got you feeling good! Let’s quickly recap the 6 Steps to Joy and then I encourage you to write them down or even print this out and keep it someplace for a friendly reminder to let yourself feel joy more often.

Step #1 Acceptance

Step #2 Gratitude

Step #3 Living in the Present

Step #4 Building Internal Locus

Step #5 Rising into Your Highest Self

Step #6 Allowing Yourself to Feel It

You’ve got to GO Sign Up for our Learning to Love Me series. You will LOVE it!

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