Decisive. Empowered. Resilient.

3 Steps to Calm


3 Steps to Calm


Did you know you have a higher self? You do. I’m going to show you how to quickly rise above your present moment chaos and stress to create calm. It only takes a little observation and practice to turn these steps to calm into a reliable habit for handling daily challenges.

Step #1 Breathe

Anytime we are feeling real stress and need to be able to make big decisions fast, the most important thing we can learn to do is breathe – regardless of what is going on in the moment.

Making good decisions can only arrive from a mind that is calm and quiet, this is where our idea generating area of our brain functions best. To allow for this solution oriented creativity to happen, we’ve got to create quit and calm, we have to learn to breathe!

If you’ve been following along in our Learning to Love Me series, you will be able to see where improving self-love, self-worth and establishing healthy boundaries can really help during stressful times.

Ideas for implementing instant ‘breathable’ moments in which to collect yourself and regain control of the situation and your day include the following:

Stepping outside for a few minutes of real fresh air. Mother nature is a natural stress reliever.

Removing yourself from the people present who are creating unnecessary drama. Rise higher, you’ve got this.

Say a quick prayer of peace and joy, relief and ease.

Do a 5-minute meditation session.

Remind yourself you are worthy of respect and you are in control over how your life goes. You call the shots for you!

Contribute to solutions. (Don’t add to the mess.)

Focus on your blessings.

Do a little journaling and let yourself partake in a mind/emotional purge on paper. Just get it all out.

Go for a run or exercise – burn off that pent up energy.

Let yourself feel, let the tears flow, the anger rage and just feel it all. Often, we feel better right away and think more clearly too.


Step #2 Observe

If we find ourselves under a lot of stress or in the midst of a big issue that needs immediate attention, it is imperative that you make good decisions. After taking a moment to breathe and calm yourself down, it’s time to observe.

You’ve got to pretty much step outside of yourself and the situation and try to gain a higher, bigger perspective. This will allow you to see what is really going on and what may have led up to this moment that isn’t much fun. Take ownership of the situation and for your part, but maintain those boundaries. Don’t take more than your share of the responsibility and…

Never settle for less than what you believe you are worth and that which makes for a viable solution.

I also suggest pretending like you have a wise old master at life on speed dial that you can call at any time for advice. What would this life master suggest for you to do?

You can also come at the scenario as though a good friend is the one experiencing it and they’ve come to you for insight. What suggestions would you offer?

If you deal with anxiety, you can use an imagery technique. When you feel, the walls closing in and suffocating you making it difficult to think clearly, imagine having a nice red balloon tied to your wrist and at any time you can rise and float above the whole situation. From this higher perspective, you can then mentally ‘breathe’ and then observe and make good decisions.

You could also picture your current situation from the view point of a bird up in a tree. What would the bird be seeing and noting that you can’t see from there on the ground?

In observation mode, we don’t judge and tear ourselves apart. We are merely looking at the whole situation, looking for contributing factors and potential solutions and future preventative measures.


Step #3 Take Empowered Action

In establishing real self-love and self-worth you will be living empowered, realizing you have this one life to life and it is your life. You are calling the shots and declaring how your life is going to go. No longer at the whim of everyone else, you are able to make decisions that lead to continued healthy self-love, thus you easily eliminate any option that does not serve your well-being and inner peace and joy.

After getting yourself into a state of quiet, reflective calm, you are able to gather a few feasible solutions to resolve your current stressful situation and likely to also prevent it from happening again. (Life lessons!)

Now you take action! Implement the best idea you’ve come up with and give it a whirl with your best effort. If this first approach doesn’t work or provide the outcome you desire…

Try Another Approach!

The thing about life is, we don’t experience better conditions until we learn the lessons we need to and grow into the person capable of living life at a higher level. So, every challenge or issue is really just life giving us an opportunity to learn and grow. If you stumble, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and go through these steps again. Breathe, observe what happened, what worked and why (or why didn’t work) and then make your next best decision and act on it. Repeat until you’ve implemented a solution that works!


*Bonus Tip*

At any point in time, we can pause and rise into our highest self and approach life better. It’s a decision you make. Preventing and resolving stressful situations is very doable when we decide to own it and make the best of it!

Keep finding yourself with a similar challenge? Plong enough to take notes. Seriously, write down what you are dealing with, what led up to it, how you are trying to overcome it and the outcomes. Often, we experience extreme frustrations feeling like we ARE trying only in hindsight to realize we kept trying the same thing over and over without doing anything differently. You can use your notes as a reference in the future when facing similar situations. This way you know what you’ve already tried, what didn’t worked and when you find something that does work, you can highlight it and use this approach again.

Remember to make adjustments along the way!


Not only are these 3 steps great for making good decisions and improving our self-love,

but they are excellent for reducing our stress.

If you experience stress a lot, try our 30-Day Stress Relief Challenge below.

30 Days to Less Stress

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