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10 Ways to Improve Your Self-Love

self love

10 Ways to Improve Your Self-Love


Hi there! For some reason, I wanted to call you sweet pea and then I realized I’ve been indulging in too much Lovey Dovey with my own self-love. How about I just call you #totallyworthyofSelfLove?

You are worthy of such magnificence, you know that right?

Today I am sharing with you 10 wonderful ways to up your Self-Love, starting with You BELIEVING that you are Worthy of it.

Be sure to sign up for our Learning to Love Me guides in creating self-love and self-care for women.

Let’s get onto it now, gives yourself time to absorb these tips, there are few exercises for you to do too.


#1 Believe You Are Worth It

It amazes me how we ladies can spend so many years forgetting to love ourselves daily! When we stop to look at how many plates we are juggling, the amount of stress we carry and the pressure to be and do everything for everyone all the time, it makes total sense that we’ve pretty much forgotten ourselves.

The first step to real self-love is to pause and then recognize and declare that:

 You are 100% worthy of pure self-love!

I may have forgotten to tell you to grab a notebook, go get one. Take notes. Write that affirmation in great big letters! Every single morning look yourself in the eye in the mirror and say this out loud to yourself! Repeat and stare at it until you believe it (or you go cross eyed).

You are worthy of such wonderful love, but nothing in your life will change for the better until you truly begin to believe it and then defend it.


#2 Self-Acceptance

Self-love is all about accepting everything about you, the good and the not so great, the mistakes and lessons learned, the I should have’s or could be’s, the I don’t want to look at it and the I’m so damn proud of its.

To make progress you have to learn to observe yourself and your life as you are and just as things are. You have to see what is working well and what needs fixed. There are things to let be and things to address immediately (see #4 and #9).

This doesn’t mean we make excuses for being less that we know we are capable of nor does it mean tear yourself apart for not having learned how to rise to your highest self yet. It just means acknowledge yourself here, now, today and take a few notes. Get real, be honest, nothing will change until you face it.

#3 Count Your Blessings

When we gather the courage to face reality, it can feel daunting and well it’s hard to not compare where you are to where others are and where you want to be. This is why we make time for counting our blessings, developing real gratitude and we build our minds up to be resilient with the use of affirmations.

(Go read those articles and do the exercises. #lifealtering )

#4 Create Healthier Boundaries

If you are going to start loving yourself greater, you need to move yourself up your priority list and this means setting some standards for loving yourself and mingling with others. The way you respect and treat yourself is equivalent to how others will treat you. The kind of energy you give out is the energy you will get back.

Perfect example: So many women (you and I included) just give, give, give and keep on giving.

Guess what happens?

People keep taking, taking, taking and taking as much as they can from us.

The energy we send out screams “I have zero boundaries and I’ll give you every ounce of me for free.” And then the energy we get back is, “Okay, you said it and I’m needy and I’m lazy and I’ll just take a little of this and that. Oh, that’s good stuff you are giving, can I have more? Awesome. Gosh You are great. I’m going to keep taking and taking and ….”

You get the idea!

Now I want you to go read this (save the link if you are short on time and vow to return and read it) you will thank me later that you did.

Creating Healthy Boundaries (with yourself and others)

This will help you protect your energy, time, talents and love while ensuring people treat you with respect.

#5 Learn to Own Your Yes’s & No’s

This insight into self-love directly connects with building healthy boundaries and relationships.

When women say to me in live workshops, “Nobody respects me anymore. No one listens. I’m tired of repeating myself over and over.”

I then respond with – “How well do you own your Yes’s and No’s?”

Followed by stutters and silence.

Yes, is a commitment of your time, energy and talents, meaning you’ve evaluated your resource tanks, compared the request with your values and priorities and you’ve decided it is a good investment.

No is a one word powerful sentence that requires ZERO explanation following it. A firm “No.” means you’ve evaluated your resources tanks, compared the request with your values and priorities and you decided it was not a good thing for you do right now. Enough said.

I want you to go read this Learning to Own Your No for further guidance in telling people to * off. I mean in telling people No and that you mean it.

#6 Make Your Time Work for You

When you love yourself wholly, you have values and priorities in place that contribute to and protect your well-being, peace, joy, and resources. You know how to have good relationships and make decisions more wisely (those Yes’s and No’s).

This also enables you to be more in control of your time. Yes, it is possible to boss your day around. The time still passes but you no longer do everything for everyone all day long, every single day.

Making your time work for you is about creating balance, making sure that what you give will you bring you a replenishing return. Self-love will also create for you time in your day and week to care for yourself, to take better care of your health, soul, spirit, mind and well… you will realize you have time for you. There will be time to rest and laugh and also time for your interests.

Further readings: Does Your Routine Need a Change-Up & How to Stop Multitasking

#7 Invest in You (and your passions)

When you improve your levels of self-love, you start believing you are worthy of your talents. Then you begin to structure your time and relationships and commitments to things that are good for you. As you do this more and more you realize you are decent at your talents and you wonder just what you can do with them.

Now that you are giving yourself time each week to do things you enjoy, you can build some focus and create some goals centered on your interests and passions in life. This natural alignment with core of who you are, backed by good self-care and living decisively (life management), enables you to start making progress on your goals and then the world finally begins to receive the real you that has been hiding all these years. You are now able to start giving and sharing with the world the purpose of you having been created.

I hope by now you are seeing that you really are worth investing in, that you are worthy of such love and care and life experiences.

#8 Reflect and Adjust

As we continue to age and evolve and go through the seasons of life, healthy self-love will allow you to routinely reflect on who you are now, and where you are with your life. Because you will be able to accept yourself wholly, lovingly, and see your challenges not as limitations to keep you stuck but as opportunities for you to learn how to love yourself greater – making adjustments to the path you are on will be quick and easy.

In fact, you will learn to enjoy times of reflection and making changes, you’ll seek out bigger changes and realize that learning more about yourself and life and the process of growing is fun and liberating!

#9 Make Self-Care a Priority

I’m guessing you read the link about creating healthy boundaries, if you didn’t go back and do so now. Self-care is the direct result of increasing self-love. You cannot have one without the other.

When love goes up, self-care also improves. When self-love goes down, self-care deteriorates. When self-care deteriorates our health declines and we struggle to get through our days and our ability to care for those we love plummets.

Make self-care a priority here and now. Your health is your energy tank to live your life with. You can’t love others well if you don’t love yourself well. Revisit the relationship story from earlier on giving, giving and giving. If your self-care stinks, your health will also be sluggish, which in turn means your energy tank will be on fumes and the love you offer will suffer.

Make that self-loving care a priority at the top of your list every single day and everything else in your life will improve!!!

Scroll down to the bottom of this link for 20 Ideas to try for Self-Care!


#10 Encourage the Shift Within

There are three kinds of changes people make in life. The first two are when you are forced to change, mostly from you not loving yourself enough in the first place and having to deal with the consequences. Yep, life ownership here. It’s a requirement of self-love.

The third type of change is where you change from within, I call the internal shift of change. Self-Love really occurs as a result of this type of change. I want you to understand all three kinds of changes. Mostly I want you to realize what will happen if you continue on this path of not loving yourself wholly.

I want to you be living decisively and believing in yourself and recognizing that everything you will ever amount to stems from the level and degree in which you learn to love yourself.

Go learn about these three kinds of changes and then Empower Yourself!

Start believing in your worthiness and value!

Accept yourself, love yourself here and now and then dive into expanding that self-love every single day for the rest of your life. Use tenderness, use firm decisiveness. Stop settling. Stop giving yourself away for free.

Believe. Believe. Believe. Believe. Believe. In yourself, in your purpose and in your ability to love yourself 100%.

How’s that for an inspirational boost? Lit you up a bit and sparked that inner fire ey? Good.

If you want more, go sign up for our Learning to Love Me series, go on now!

Learning to Love Me Guide to Self-Love & Care

Image Adobe Stock


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